What is frustration? We feel frustration when a situation or a person prevents us from doing something we want to do.

Frustration is not an issue isolated to teenagers but the reasons behind our frustrations differ as we grow from babies to toddlers to children to teenagers to adults. Teenagers get frustrated more easily because of many different reasons.

Teenagers want to be socially accepted. Being socially accepted is especially important for teenagers. We want to hangout with people who experience the same things as us therefore are supportive and understand us better. Being socially accepted can be frustrating if you’re shy, from another culture, look different and especially if you have been hurt before.

A frustrating situation for teenagers is when their parents stop them from going out on a week night, because they want to hang out with their friends. It is frustrating because we want to be independent, to make our own choices and be taken seriously.  Some parents won’t let their teenagers out because they want their teenagers to focus on school and if their teenagers do go out, parents worry about the temptations of drugs, alcohol and sex.

Some parents seem to forget how they felt during their teenage years and it appears they are now trying to live through their children by being always around their teenagers and being involved in everything they do. They seem to have forgotten that teenagers like independence and being able to slowly move away from their parents’ control.  Teenagers who have overbearing parents get frustrated when they are not allowed to be independent and sometimes this turns some teenagers to drugs, alcohol and sex – and that becomes their focus.   This behaviour then leads to not being taken seriously. Some parents seem to think that all teenagers will become drug, alcohol and sex addicts but I assure you that this is not true.

Frustration of exams is another thing. Our family, friends and teachers put pressure on us to do well – and we put tremendous pressure on ourselves. There is pressure as we know we have to achieve in order to pursue our dream careers. This pressure and the intensity of exams equal people being less tolerant which eventually leads to frustration. 

 And, of course, our hormones make us a little more emotional. Hormones sometimes control our emotions and nobody around us can say the right thing and this ends with us being frustrated for no good reason. I suspect sometimes our family and friends want to lock us in a room with a sign that says “Caution: Hormones active, teenager may bite.”

Despite day-to-day frustrations, some people are lucky.  I am a disabled teenager.  My life is always filled with frustration – on a daily basis.  

A frustrating thing about being disabled is people look and treat you like you just hopped off a U.F.O. For example, my dad, my sister and I were strolling around a Melbourne Mall and this man approached my dad. He then asked my dad if he could say a pray for me. My dad being a religious-grinch said “No Thanks.” I can understand and appreciate people wanting to help but it sometimes is plainly odd and humiliating.  

Communication can be frustrating for me as sometimes I am not able to voice my thoughts and feelings as quickly as I would like. Because I talk through an electronic device, I can’t easily join in a conversation.  It takes a while before I can type up what I want to say, and by then the conversation has moved on! An example of this is meeting and making friends. Making friends has been more difficult as I have gotten older. When you are a child, you accept people for whom they are not what they are. And my disability makes me shy, so making friends seems impossible. 

A situation which frustrates me is that local schools are not used to catering for students who have physical disabilities which means I’m a human guinea pig as they trial and experiment with ideas. I have to put up with the school trying to do their best to cater for me but hopefully this will make life easier for future students who have similar disabilities. Being severely disabled at college is frustrating because I have to put up with some things that I find distressing.  An example of this is that sometimes I am not able to complete tasks quickly and when my work differs from other students, I can’t always get access to my teachers for help. Also another frustration is when doors are closed in front of me, preventing access to classrooms. Hopefully, through my being a guinea pig at college, both staff and students will benefit from working and mixing with me and learn how to communicate and help other disabled people in the future.

Now, that we have been through some scenarios that frustrate me, let’s look at three tips that help with frustration. Tip one is talk to somebody you trust.  Talking releases your emotions. Talk about the situation as soon as you can so you do not explode with emotion later on. Talking also ensures that someone else is aware of your frustration and they can give you helpful advice or they may even be able to put your frustration into perspective and make you laugh about it.  If you prefer not to talk, write it down because writing has the same effect as talking. Personally I have to write everything down so I can communicate through my talking device.

Tip two is to focus on things you have control over. Frustration often occurs when you are in a situation that you have no control of, therefore focussing on the things you can control reassures you that your life isn’t totally out of your control.  

Tip three is figuring out your options. Consider your options, after calming down. Write out a list of possible options and DO NOT be afraid to ask for advice. Especially from parents, even though they can be annoying at times.

Whether you are black, white, from another country, disabled, everybody gets frustrated from time to time and frustration attacks you whoever you are. If you are ever frustrated about anything at all, remember to talk to a trustworthy person, focus on something you have control over and figure out your options. Finally, remember you aren’t the only person who has to deal with frustration. Look around you, you’re not alone. We all suffer from frustrations.